Callbacks!

Callbacks. You've proven yourself once, proven that your chops are up to snuff to be cast. But, what the director still needs to know is: If you're cast...what role will you be portraying?

Today I found myself trying to find the answer to that question for 17 people. It's a difficult process, much more difficult than I expected it to be. You see these actors who present great, first rate auditions and you think "Yes. They are perfect for this role." So, you bring them to the callback and have them read and...your mind is changed. Or, in a more positive example. You see these actors who barely squeak by, but then you put a copy of the script in their hands and they bring something to life that you never would have expected to see.

For me, one of the greatest assets of the callback is the adjustment. I loved when a director would have us run a scene, then give us a couple of notes to think about, and then have us run it again. That time with the director was always special to me because it meant the director was combining you as an actor with the character that you were portraying. And even if you weren't cast in that part for a few moments you had some one-on-one time the director. You earned the opportunity to show them something. And you also got some advice from another theatre professional.

Today, for the first time, I was the one giving the adjustment and it was an awesome moment. Talking with these actors and helping them, giving them guidance without outright telling them what you were looking for. And the best part of it all is the look of understanding. That eureka moment when you see that they realize exactly what you were talking about but they have discovered in in their own way. Then they walk on that stage, read it again, and you see a world of difference. You see an actor working for something that they believe in on an individual basis.

Then you see that look on their face as they walk off from the scene. It's that look that reads...it worked. That's what it's all about and that's what makes me think I want to be an educator. To see the look of success on someone's face is such a rewarding experience. To know that something, even if tiny, helped them in finding the right path is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

That's the amazing thing about students. You try and teach them, and then in return they inspire you. It's an awesome exchange.

Looking at Auditions in a New Light

I remember my first "real" audition. I was a freshmen in high school. A couple of my friends had participated in the Drama Club and were planning on auditioning for the upcoming production of Our Town at our high school. Now, these friends had been doing auditions a lot longer than I had. They had been in the drama classes at their middle school, took a couple classes at STAGE's over the summer, etc. The last theatre experience I had, had was playing Santa Claus in the Kindergarten Christmas Pageant. It didn't turn out well...the beard gave me hives...covering my face...that's all I will say...

But, I loved acting. Actually, I loved the idea of acting. I loved movies. I loved the lives of famous actors. I loved playing games where I got to direct my sister around. So, I sucked it up and decided to audition for Our Town. I found an awesome (not really) monologue online where I was playing this popular jock character (typecasting). I remember running it over in my mind over and over again as I walked around the track in gym class. I had it down. The day came for the auditions and I was psyched. I was totally ready...until seventh hour. My stomach began exploding. I was having trouble breathing. My eyes got watery. I went straight to Mr. Mueller (my drama teacher) and told him "I have to go home. I'm having stomach issues. Can I do my audition tomorrow?" He agreed and I ran to the bus. I sat down and all of my symptoms magically went away.

I auditioned the next day. I imagine it went okay because I was cast as Constable Warren. I, for the life of me, cannot remember performing that monologue. I remember being sick. I remember the day I didn't audition even more than the day I actually ended up walking on to that stage.

Since that day, I've auditioned many more times. Some have gone great, some have gone okay, and some have gone horribly. But, each audition is less memorable than that very first one, that very first high school audition. It's funny because currently I am working at the same high school I graduated from. I am the Theatre/Speech Assistant to my old Dram teacher, Mr. Mueller and yesterday and today were our auditions for the first play of the school year. Quite a few freshmen came out to audition and I think I really learned something important.

As those of us in the theatre world do more and more auditions, they almost become commonplace. They become our type of job interview. Of course, we get nervous as we walk into that space and see those faces looking back at us, but I think the audition tends to lose its magic.

It becomes a necessity. It becomes a dream maker or a heart breaker. And I think that all of us first look at it as the heartbreaker. For a long time, I belonged to the school of thought that telling myself I wasn't going to get a part from an audition was the best way to walk into that type of situation. That way, if I wasn't cast "Well of course that makes sense. I knew I would get anything." And if I did get cast "Oh my gosh. I did not think this was going to happen." That's where my problem stems from.

I looked at all auditions as having only one, singular purpose...to get me a job. WRONG! An audition is so much more.

As those kids walked on the stage , many were nervous, but there was something else behind what they were performing. Joy.

For 1 to 2 minutes they had a stage to themselves. For 1 to 2 minutes they were stepping outside of the box and creating an entirely different world. They were bringing something that they found on paper to life. And that was evident in all of their work. It was free. I loved that. They dared to try different things because they didn't know what was right and what was wrong. They knew that some were going to get cast and some weren't, but they also knew that they got to stand on a stage for 1 to 2 minutes and become what we have all wanted to be...an actor.

For that short amount of time their dreams had come true. The audition for them was a dream maker and that's a beautiful thing.

That's what these auditions has shown me. One of my professors, Steve Snyder has always said that an audition was more than just another interview. It's a time to fine tune your craft, work on a monologue, etc. I always heard this and I know that I stored it away somewhere because I am recalling it right now...but I don't think I ever truly took this advice to heart until now.

Auditions are a chance to create art. We are bringing a playwright's words to life for a few short moments. Those words are traveling through my body and becoming a collaboration between playwright and actor. It's really a beautiful thing when you think about it.

So, today, I make a vow...I vow to stop taking auditions for granted. I will grow from these experiences no matter what. Whether a dream maker or a heat breaker...

Camaraderie

As mentioned in my previous entry, I am currently working on a production of Henry V which is being produced by St. Louis Shakespeare. This is a great STL based company that produces yearly seasons chock full of a wide variety of plays, ranging from Shakespearean classics to modernized versions of beloved tales.

Tonight at rehearsal, funnily enough, we had just begun work on Act III. Now, the first scene of Act III is the "Unce more unto the breach..." scene. This is another of the most famous speeches from any of Shakespeare's histories.

One of the fundamental parts of this speech is the idea of camaraderie. Henry is rousing his closest companions, he is rousing his soldiers, and in a way his is rousing himself. The battle is still theirs for the taking, and they need to take it. The most important word here being "They". This group of men, this band of brothers as Shakespeare later refers to them, represents something more. Together they represent England. They represent their homes and their families. They are fighting beside the King to protect their very livelihoods. They are fighting for what they most believe in, in the world and without each other they would fall. Without this bond created and strengthened by Henry in this moment, they would fail.

Tonight at rehearsal I noticed that the cast of Henry V was becoming this very band of brothers. Sure, some of us are working for the French. Some of us are soldiers or drunks or yeomen. And some of us are even royalty. But beyond all that, beyond our characters we are artists, a company of artists that have together to bring this play to life.

Camaraderie is surrounding us. Each time one of us finds a new way to deliver a line, there is a reaction of support around the room. Each time a scene is put on to its feet and a distant shape is seen for the first time there is a feeling of being let in on the master plan. From the moment we step into the rehearsal space, there is a change. No longer are we just actors...we are a cast. We are a support system for each other.

Many members of the cast know each other from previous shows they have worked on, or even just viewed from the audience. So as one person enters the room, another rises and hugs or handshakes are traded. And even for those of us who are new to the entire experience there is a strong sense of welcome, as if an invitation has been sent out. People say hello, ask your name, wave to you when you enter the room, laugh with you when you enter early or read a line incorrectly, and might even give you a nickname like pumpkin.

That's the great thing about this experience so far. After only a few short weeks of rehearsals we can already celebrate each other's triumphs. We can collaborate on a scene, talking about how to make it the best possible. We can pass ideas back and forth. We can create together. I'm proud to be a part of a group of people coming together and forming a community.

First Post!

So...Hello Internet!

Blogs are a tricky thing. See, I'm not the most tech savvy person, but in today's world...I guess a blog is not a tech savvy thing. I'm just behind the times. I've been wanting to write one for a few years now because I've always felt like I had something to say but I was never exactly sure what I wanted that to be. I started a blog last year where I would just write about anything. I wrote two entries and forgot about...until right now actually. I wanted to wait until I had something to write about that got my blood pumping. Then the other night...I discovered it.


While sitting in rehearsals for an upcoming production of William Shakespeare's Henry V, I found myself intently focused on our King Henry, Josh. We were in the middle of our first table read, and Josh was delivering the famous St. Crispin's Day speech, or as I like to call it the Band of Brothers speech. It was one of the those moments that you never forget. It was one of the those moments where you don't realize how odd you look staring at this man reading aloud. It was one of those moments where you could feel people's breathing grow quieter so they could listen that much more. It was a moment where you realize why you do something. It was perfect.

No special effects.
No props.
No costumes.
No fight choreography.
Nothing.

Nothing except a group of people, a pile of scripts, and one man's voice. In fact, one King's voice. I felt those words more than I had ever felt them before. I knew that in that moment, we, the cast of Henry V were the exact band of brothers that the King was speaking of. Together we were creating something powerful, something that was life changing. We were creating theatre.

That's what it's all about...creation. The creation of something so alive that you can barely put it into words. The creation of...a moment, a perfect moment. And it was happening here, here in Saint Louis. The creation of great theatre is happening here and and somehow I have the honor of being involved.

That is what this blog is about.

It is about the creation of theatre here in Saint Louis. It is about the power of these artists. These artists who work full time during the day and then run to four hour rehearsals at night. These artists who have a passion so rich and powerful, that they can't simply deny it. They just can't. They spend the hours they could be sitting at home, the hours they could sleeping or eating or watching TV...they dedicate them to the art of theatre. THAT IS WHAT PASSION IS ALL ABOUT! Making it happen...no matter what.

So, I've decided I will be a part of that. I am a part of that right now. And this blog will be documenting my journey into it all. From auditions to rehearsals. From opening nights to strikes. From the good days to the bad. I hope to give you a glimpse into the heart of Saint Louis theatre.

Thanks for reading!