Looking at Auditions in a New Light

I remember my first "real" audition. I was a freshmen in high school. A couple of my friends had participated in the Drama Club and were planning on auditioning for the upcoming production of Our Town at our high school. Now, these friends had been doing auditions a lot longer than I had. They had been in the drama classes at their middle school, took a couple classes at STAGE's over the summer, etc. The last theatre experience I had, had was playing Santa Claus in the Kindergarten Christmas Pageant. It didn't turn out well...the beard gave me hives...covering my face...that's all I will say...

But, I loved acting. Actually, I loved the idea of acting. I loved movies. I loved the lives of famous actors. I loved playing games where I got to direct my sister around. So, I sucked it up and decided to audition for Our Town. I found an awesome (not really) monologue online where I was playing this popular jock character (typecasting). I remember running it over in my mind over and over again as I walked around the track in gym class. I had it down. The day came for the auditions and I was psyched. I was totally ready...until seventh hour. My stomach began exploding. I was having trouble breathing. My eyes got watery. I went straight to Mr. Mueller (my drama teacher) and told him "I have to go home. I'm having stomach issues. Can I do my audition tomorrow?" He agreed and I ran to the bus. I sat down and all of my symptoms magically went away.

I auditioned the next day. I imagine it went okay because I was cast as Constable Warren. I, for the life of me, cannot remember performing that monologue. I remember being sick. I remember the day I didn't audition even more than the day I actually ended up walking on to that stage.

Since that day, I've auditioned many more times. Some have gone great, some have gone okay, and some have gone horribly. But, each audition is less memorable than that very first one, that very first high school audition. It's funny because currently I am working at the same high school I graduated from. I am the Theatre/Speech Assistant to my old Dram teacher, Mr. Mueller and yesterday and today were our auditions for the first play of the school year. Quite a few freshmen came out to audition and I think I really learned something important.

As those of us in the theatre world do more and more auditions, they almost become commonplace. They become our type of job interview. Of course, we get nervous as we walk into that space and see those faces looking back at us, but I think the audition tends to lose its magic.

It becomes a necessity. It becomes a dream maker or a heart breaker. And I think that all of us first look at it as the heartbreaker. For a long time, I belonged to the school of thought that telling myself I wasn't going to get a part from an audition was the best way to walk into that type of situation. That way, if I wasn't cast "Well of course that makes sense. I knew I would get anything." And if I did get cast "Oh my gosh. I did not think this was going to happen." That's where my problem stems from.

I looked at all auditions as having only one, singular purpose...to get me a job. WRONG! An audition is so much more.

As those kids walked on the stage , many were nervous, but there was something else behind what they were performing. Joy.

For 1 to 2 minutes they had a stage to themselves. For 1 to 2 minutes they were stepping outside of the box and creating an entirely different world. They were bringing something that they found on paper to life. And that was evident in all of their work. It was free. I loved that. They dared to try different things because they didn't know what was right and what was wrong. They knew that some were going to get cast and some weren't, but they also knew that they got to stand on a stage for 1 to 2 minutes and become what we have all wanted to be...an actor.

For that short amount of time their dreams had come true. The audition for them was a dream maker and that's a beautiful thing.

That's what these auditions has shown me. One of my professors, Steve Snyder has always said that an audition was more than just another interview. It's a time to fine tune your craft, work on a monologue, etc. I always heard this and I know that I stored it away somewhere because I am recalling it right now...but I don't think I ever truly took this advice to heart until now.

Auditions are a chance to create art. We are bringing a playwright's words to life for a few short moments. Those words are traveling through my body and becoming a collaboration between playwright and actor. It's really a beautiful thing when you think about it.

So, today, I make a vow...I vow to stop taking auditions for granted. I will grow from these experiences no matter what. Whether a dream maker or a heat breaker...