Revelations on a Keyboard

This blog is a little late coming. But, it's the first time I've had to write a new one!

So, since August 8 I have been an employee of a school district here in St. Louis. I have been working at the high school that I graduated from and with the drama teacher who fostered and helped developed my passion for theatre. I always knew that somewhere inside of me, I wanted to teach. Someday, I wanted to be able to instill in other high school age kids a love for theatre that would be powerful...that would be able to hopefully change their lives. But, I never knew when this was going to happen.

I didn't graduate with any type of certification so that I could teach. I knew that I would need to go back to school. And I also knew that the next time I wanted to go back to school, I wanted it to be for my MFA in Acting.

It's funny how things change...I don't know what it is. It could be a combination of a lot of factors. I feel more useful than I've felt in a long time. I feel like I am giving something to these kids. It doesn't even closely measure up to what they are giving me. It also has to do with the fact that I am working with a man who has truly changed my life. The man who gave me theatre. That's a big deal to me because without it I don't know who I would be today.

But, things have definitely changed. I need to teach. Let me be a little more clear...I need to teach theatre. I need to be able to work with people like this on a daily basis. I have such a strong attachment to this community already and I've only been working there such a short time. But, (this is going to sound SO corny) lightning strikes fast (I told you so.) and I've been hit.

Saturday, I spent all day at a Speech Workshop at one of the local high schools. It was a long day. I got home and I was exhausted. I needed my bed, badly. But, no matter how tired I was, I could not help smiling. I knew that they could call me up and say "We need you to take a group to another workshop tomorrow." And I would be there with a sweater vest on faster than you can imagine.

Now, don't get me wrong. I will still be an actor as well. I will find the energy (hopefully) to audition for companies. And no matter where life takes me I will still be doing and creating theatre. That's the great thing about education. Not only will I be creating theatre, but students will as well. We will have our own theatre company...it will just have a four year membership.

But, for right now, I'm looking into schools that I can attend and get my Teacher Certification for Theatre/Speech. By just typing that, I now that it's right.

It's things like this that get me really excited. I've always been this huge planner. I make these immense plans and I lay them out. I convince myself that this plan is the exact way my life needs to go. And for about a week I commit myself to those goals. But, then I find something else.

Law school.
Curating a museum.
Running for President.
Working on a cruise ship.
Working for a vacation rental company.

I tell myself "This is what I need to be happy". And I mean, I could be happy doing any of these things. But, the problem was, I had never really experienced any of them. I just imagined how cool it would be to do that thing. I had friends doing it. Or I had family members tell me "You would be such a good lawyer" and so I would say "You're right. I'll do that". But, what I really needed was to experience something.

I needed to let the right thing come to me...find me, instead of me desperately grasping on to any possibility. I think that's why I like this so much. Two days after I graduated from college I was in my car driving back to St. Louis and I called my old high school drama teacher. I asked if he had any openings helping with the program. He said "Well...". And the rest is history.

I like to look at it like this. For so long, I've been trying to find the word that will define my life. And now, I've finally realized the essential truth...there isn't one word. I'm going to be a teacher. I'm going to be an actor. I'm going to be a writer. I'm going to be a student. I'm going to be a listener. I'm going to be a director.

I'm going to be inspired.

I'm going to be happy.